Gratuitous Impiety

Mika, You Are Hereby Banned From Blowing Me

By |February 17th, 2017

Mika Brzezinski, it's no use crying, you are hereby banned from blowing me. Don't even ask, don't even bother scouring the net for deals on knee pads. Truth welcomes debate, it doesn’t fear it. If your talking points are based on something you know to be false, of course you will look for reasons to avoid guests who call you on it. Bill Maher is right about this refusal to actually engage in debate signals surrender, and he surrenders often on everything that really matters so he'd know, and it is why Democrats keep losing.

A Psychological Analysis of a Psychologist Who Analyzed Trump

By |February 13th, 2017

We can also observe Sullivan's own palpable insecurity and narcissism projected on to Donald Trump. Sullivan has no political training or influence with world leaders, which Trump enjoyed before his presidency, but he thinks a psychology degree makes him innately superior to the President of the United States and that such training supersedes the skill set that got Trump the highest office in the free world. He stigmatizes the mentally ill, as well, by portraying them as people to be feared. What kind of psychologist does that?

Doctors: Morbidly Obese Michael Moore May Not Make It Next Four Years

By |February 10th, 2017

"At over 300 lbs. the mortality rate in his age group is very high. Such individuals are at a high risk of heart disease and cardiac arrest. With a body mass index well over 45, there is a co-morbidity factor that must be seriously considered. He could use a few sit ups, and lay off the hot dogs and cheese pizza."

I’m a Fire Truck Trapped in a Man’s Body

By |November 27th, 2016

In the meantime, because fire trucks have unique anatomical features, it is only fair to have have public restaurants, schools, government buildings , etc., modify their bathrooms into fire stations to accommodate my special needs, such  as my ladder.

“Please clap.”

By |February 18th, 2016

Please. (The Editor)

Scalia Video Exclusive

By |February 14th, 2016

It was a refreshing candor. In regards to their opposition to gay marriage, Antonin Scalia had this to say: "My love for Clarence will live forever. Circumstances such as his marriage and mine preclude our union, making our love impossible. So why should you be happy? if we can't be together you can't be together." Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas in Exclusive Impious Digest bombshell interview

Hilldo Strap On Ready to Tear US Voters a New Asshole

By |February 4th, 2016

Not Just the Lady Friends Anymore! Ready to strap on her new Hilldo™ and tear a new asshole into American dreams of a credible challenge to establishment corruption; Hillary arrives in town to answer, doggy style, any impudent calls for a meritocracy. With palpable excitement, she cheers the arrival of her latest strap on model, The Hilldo™ , after weeks of delay. Other upcoming variations include the larger Amy Poler and the Humadork 69. (Incidentally, dork is an informal reference for a whale penis.) Above, Hillary tests the self-lubricating Hilldo™  Bushlover 666, which features vibrating forklift action and jackhammer engineering.

Cat Boxing!

By |January 23rd, 2016

And now, for the ultimate sports enthusiast, a look at one of the most remarkable cat boxing matches in world history.

Washington to Host Moderate Terrorists, Moderate Child Molesters Summit

By |November 25th, 2015

What's the difference between a rebel and a 'moderate' rebel? a rebel is what you saw in the US Civil War, an actual soldier, but a 'moderate' rebel is a terrorist that beheads Christians and Muslims alike and not too long ago, was the enemy in Afghanistan and Iraq . This will be a key subject of discussion as  ISIS, The American Coalition of Rapists, the American Society for the Appreciation of Chainsaw Massacres, The American Child Molesters League, and FOX and Friends are scheduled to meet soon to celebrate their mainstream media acceptance via neo-con political spin. According to the event organizer, "we remain true to ourselves, and after celebrating the blatantly dismissive attitudes of our very nature by Washington officials, we intend to rape, behead, and dismember every apologist reporter on the scene."

FNC: Snowden Busted!

By |November 24th, 2015

From FOX News, new photographic evidence that Edward Snowden armed ISIS in 2013, helped develop their infrastructure and oil economy, orchestrated the air drops to Iraqi units, ordered US planes to dump bombs on empty targets, and other really mean and un-American stuff only someone like, say, a senator obsessed with Syrian oil, personal profit, and regime change could pull.

The “Seeing Past Hands Syndrome” or McCain’s Dementia

By |November 22nd, 2015

There's a strange psychological defense system some call the Seeing Past Hands Syndrome where if you have your eyes covered with your hand, you actually come to believe no one can see what you are doing. It's an extremely common affliction among politicians. There is hope, however, and the poor fellow herein is witness to just how much they suffer when they are not making life miserable for the rest of us, too.

Coming Soon: Mike Wallace is Dead and So is 60 Minutes, So Fuck You Posers

By |November 13th, 2015

To call evil good, and good evil, that is complicity. To allow a killer to hide his weapons in your house, and then lie about what you saw, that is all complicity. Welcome to the 60 Minutes autopsy.

Hi. JK Rowling’s Two Cents on BDS…

By |October 24th, 2015

"Hi. JK Rowling's two cents on BDS amouts to the whole of my geopolitical awareness. I agree with JK Rowling on the BDS thing and her opposition to boycotting Israel, although I don't know exactly what it is about.  Because she, like, wrote all those Harry Potter books! I enjoy the realism in her books and knowing it's all based on a true story. She inspires me and I plan to apply to Hogwarts now."

Surest Sign of Propaganda: Anonymous Sources

By |October 18th, 2015

Here's some CNN fear porn giving FOX News a run for their money. That is a spoof flag with dildos and no actual writing, by the way, unless we are to believe ISIS is all about gay pride.

PM David Cameron’s Ex Catches Up With Him

By |October 17th, 2015

PETA drops the ball again, strangely silent on David Cameron.