In Brief

Botched Circumcision Leaves George Soros With Ball Sacks for Eyes

By |October 31st, 2017

Blind rabbi takes full blame, also admits he was drinking.

Empty Barrels Make the Most Noise

By |October 20th, 2017

Frederica Wilson is an "empty barrel" according to Gen. John Kelly, but I beg to differ. Shit has mass.

Too Painfully Real for Fiction

By |September 22nd, 2017

This censorship system (dubbed the “Iron Curtain”) being imposed upon the American people, this report concludes, backfired on the Soviets and became a major factor in eroding the Communist Party’s control—a fact not noticed by some hysterical Hillary Clinton supporting lawmakers in the US Congress who, just 3 days ago, demanded that a Washington D.C. radio station (105.5 FM) broadcasting Radio Sputnik's programming be shut down because it “influenced the election”—a claim that defies all laws of space and time as this station didn’t start carrying Radio Sputnik until 1 July of this year, fully 9 months AFTER President Trump was elected.  

Local Woman Happy as Fuck She Caused Hillary to Lose

By |September 14th, 2017

Linda V. Clemmons, 24, admitted today that her refusing to vote in 2016 was "the key reason Hillary Clinton got her ass handed to her on a platter" in the presidential election and that it makes her "happy as a fucking clam that she lost."

World Peace at Hand: UN Security Council Institutes Like, Dislike Button

By |September 7th, 2017

The United Nations Security Council has introduced a new means to ensure, at long last, world peace. "They are like UN non-binding resolutions, only more bad ass. No self-respecting nation wants to wake up to a depressing number of likes due to war crimes."