Scripts

Censored Brady Bunch Episodes

By |September 13th, 2013

Not every Brady Bunch episode made it past the zealous censors of 1970s television. Even this, the most innocent of shows, the most wholesome, managed to somehow offend the sensibilities of anal retentive network censors. Here now, for your perusal, the lost classics...

Gump II- The Fuhrman Confession

By |March 28th, 2013

After watching Det. Mark Fuhrman plead the 5th when asked directly if he planted the bloody glove at the Simpson residence, it seemed a fatal blow to the prosecution's star witness. It wasn't. So we pose a simple question: what if Det. Mark Fuhrman confessed to framing O.J. Simpson at his murder trial? Would it matter? Would the prosecution drop or continue the case? After a careful psychological study of prosecuting attorneys Marcia Clarke and Chris Darden, the following outcome was predicted...

America’s Most Unwanted

By |March 8th, 2013

With Pat Buchanan... an ode to reality television

Banned House Episodes

By |March 7th, 2013

Ever mindful of hurtful stereotypes, the producers made sure Foreman, the only doctor with a criminal record, was played by a black man.

On the Execution of Gilligan

By |February 27th, 2013

Behold Gilligan's Island according to stark reality and probability. After fucking up every opportunity to get off the island, the castaways (unless they were as retarded as Gilligan himself) would eventually decide to get medieval on the dumb bastard.

The Inhalers

By |February 10th, 2013

As it is a well-established fact that both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew marijuana on their plantations, this is an objective and clinical dramatization of their lives as stoner Rastafarians...