SJWs Hateth Me!

By |December 24th, 2016

Verily, it dost seem special snowflakes hath been triggered by mine awesome legacy and shadow. Even I tremble, and I am he. Behold this article at the National Review: "U Penn Removes Shakespeare Portrait Because He Does Not Represent ‘Diversity’" And I, The Bard was replaced with a portrait of a black lesbian poet few doth know about, and verily I wandered far and wide to find someone who heard of her. Who is this woman? Thou mayest often find the answer at the local eatery near U Penn. Whenst the middle-aged cashier asketh unto thee "Do you want fries with that?" inquire of the timeless mystery that is Audre Lourde.

Former CIA Spy Has A Christmas Message For Trump

By |December 24th, 2016

The media purveys fake news. Between now and Inauguration Day you should ask Mike Flynn, your National Security Advisor, to sit down with Kellyanne Conway, Brad Parscale (Giles-Parscale), Andrew Garfield (Glevum Associates), and me, to discuss the repurposing of the White House floor space and resources now wasted on the fake news press.

Trump To Move 370 Elite Troops From Russia To Protect His Life, Family

By |December 24th, 2016

Important to note about President-elect Trump’s American private security companies, this bulletin continues, is that XMark LLC specializes in the use of special forces troops, ASIT Consulting is one of the United States top experts on the importing of specialized weapons, and Ultra Electronics USSI has the reputation of being a global leader in the futuristic use of electronic and acoustic weapons—and when all combined under RBS Group leadership, presents one of the most formidable private mercenary armies the world has ever known.

Embassy Of California Opens In Moscow—Looks For Arms Deal When Hillary Clinton Is Governor

By |December 24th, 2016

As to why Vekselberg has aligned himself with Hillary Clinton and her effort to become the new leader of the independent nation of California, FSB analysts in this report explain, is due to his “eccentric love and fixation” towards Fort Ross, that is the former Russian establishment on the west coast of North America in what is now Sonoma County, California—and was the hub of the southernmost Russian settlements in North America from 1812 to 1842.

Turkish Assassin Of Russian Ambassador Tracked To American CIA Base In Iraq

By |December 24th, 2016

SVR investigators in this report further note that the Fethullah Gülen School in Erbil visited by this assassin on 15 July was ordered closed and sold by Iraq Kurdistan authorities after they were provided evidence by Turkish MİT security operatives proving this schools link to the failed CIA-led coup against Turkey’s legitimately elected government.

Hillary, Show Us Where the Bad Voters Touched You

By |December 19th, 2016

So you feel violated? Did someone exercise their right to vote for someone other than yourself? The hell you say! Not  in MY country! Did someone reveal the sobering truth about you and confirm the undecided voter's worst fears? Oh, hell no! You want Congress to investigate, or attack Russia? Eh, slow down, sparky. Unfortunately, for you at least, that's how elections work. I see you pointed at the doll's head. Is that the place where those bad, bad voters made you feel like a sore fucking loser?

Clinton Camp Admits Insider Leak, Not Russian Hack

By |December 18th, 2016

Podesta: "I'm definitely for making an example of a suspected leaker whether or not we have any real basis for it."

Was Seth Rich the DNC Leak? Ask John Podesta

By |December 18th, 2016

Podesta: "I'm definitely for making an example of a suspected leaker whether or not we have any real basis for it." In the first week of August several news boards alleged that Huma Abedin was the leak, and that she had Seth Rich contact Wikileaks and Anonymous. Wikileaks has offered a $20,000 reward leading to the capture of Rich's killer(s). Yet another source, SVR intelligence analysts, claim that the hit team was captured in a shoot out with the FBI on July 12, 2016.

PeePee-Leaks! Hillary Blames Putin for Leaking Her Bladder

By |December 18th, 2016

Citing an anonymous CIA source, twice failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton peed herself earlier today at a gathering laying out the true reasons for her loss. News later emerged that the Russians were somehow responsible for leaking the full contents of her bladder before she could finish her speech. This time Russian leader Vladimir "The Bladder Whisperer" Putin did take the blame and said her vesica, a double agent, was "always a faithful leaker."

Media Silent After US Courts Smash Clinton Coup Against Trump

By |December 18th, 2016

In the US Federal Courts of the States of Alaska, California, Colorado and Washington complete smashing of Hillary Clinton’s attempt to overthrow President-elect Trump, as well as the State Supreme Court of Colorado, this report explains, these American jurists have laid bare the lie being spread by what is called the Hamilton Electors who say that the 538 members of the Electoral College are able to substitute their will over that of the over 100 million citizens of their country who voted for whom they wanted to be their next president.

Morbidly Obese 1% Millionaire Steals Clothes from Homeless

By |December 18th, 2016

Michael Moore, a morbidly obese millionaire and darling of media elites, was recently spotted stealing clothing from a homeless veteran while filming a documentary on his life as an anorexic pole dancer. "He said he'd give it back but he hasn't returned them," said a naked Rob Peterson, 54, shivering in the below zero temperature of Flint, Michigan.  The wealthy 1 Percenter documentary media mogul has made rounds by focusing attention on Donald Trump while ignoring the polluted water scandal in the city (his hometown); this to avoid criticizing the present administration as millions are left to drink water with toxic levels of lead that has possibly killed and poisoned thousands of citizens, particularly children.

The Ruling that Made it Legal for the Media to Lie

By |December 12th, 2016

Back in 2006, a major news network went to court to defend their right to lie. This is the ruling that made it legal. "In a stunningly narrow interpretation of FCC rules, the Florida Appeals court claimed that the FCC policy against falsification of the news does not rise to the level of a 'law, rule, or regulation,' it was simply a 'policy.' Therefore, it is up to the station whether or not it wants to report honestly."

Agent Govniuk Exposed as Russian Agent/Hillary Alter Personality

By |December 11th, 2016

Dr. Pepe Le Frogg announced today that Hillary's alter personality has been identified as a Russian spy named Agent Govniuk, a self-destructive splinter of her psyche that loves to sabotage her life. Govniuk is Russian for a very naughty word, incidentally. This incredibly self-destructive alter, when in control, made sure she ran while under a criminal FBI investigation. It made sure she rigged the primary and sabotaged Bernie Sanders' campaign and lost his supporters when they found out. It was responsible for her calling half of Americans racist, deplorables, irredeemables, xenophobes, and sexists. Because "Agent Govniuk" blames everyone else for her mistakes, she cannot self-correct, so she continuously fails no matter how much she is assisted by political operatives and donors.

Rachel Maddow Realizes Media, Not Russia, is Undermining Election Results

By |December 10th, 2016

In a stunning display of rare introspection, pundit Rachel Maddow realized her own role in undermining the electoral process

Russian Conspiracy Theory Fail

By |December 10th, 2016

No Russians involved. Dr. Steve Pieczenik was Deputy Assistant Secretary of State under Henry Kissinger, Cyrus Vance and James Baker. His expertise includes foreign policy, international crisis management and psychological warfare. He served the presidential administrations of Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush in the capacity of deputy assistant secretary. In 1974, Pieczenik joined the US State Department as a consultant to help in the restructuring of its Office for the Prevention of Terrorism.